Train Simulator 2012

Why am I playing this?

Ok look - it was like three dollars during the Steam sale, which seemed worth it to see the game that launched with $1500 of DLC. And it reminded me of City Bus Simulator 2010. But sadly, Carlos is nowhere to be found. And there's no kneeling. Sadness.


So I loaded up the tutorials, and the options are something like beginner controls, two about expert controls, one about freight, and one that I wasn't even sure what the description was talking about. Clearly I am not the intended audience for this game, but I still tried out the first tutorial. It taught me how to

The goal of the tutorial is to gather an army of clones

make the train go forwards and backwards, and that I shouldn't move the train while people are getting on and off. And that's about it, but at the end it said I should go ahead and try some scenarios. FYI - Train Simulator 2012 is a lying bastard.

The scenarios aren't in any sort of order by difficulty, so I just chose the first one I saw that said "easy" and "15 minutes." I certainly didn't want to be driving a train around for over an hour. So it loads up and the goals are something about coupling to a bunch of other train cars, and also apparently the track switches will need to be in the correct position. However I'm supposed to do that. I finally got the locomotive going backwards (oh yeah - the controls had switched to expert) since I

God dammit, Bob. God dammit.

assumed the cars  I needed to pick up were back there, and was in the process of trying to figure out which of the 15 camera angles would show me what was behind the train when I crashed into the cars I was supposed to be picking up. Guess you can't connect them up at 30mph. Oh well. That's probably more than enough Train Simulator 2012.